marrying/being in a relationship for money

[lola]

If there is a guy that is crazy about you and has lots of $$ and wants to spend it on you, but you are less interested in he is than you, would you consider being with him in part because of the money he has and loves to spend on you?

Think of the other side: there's a dude you're really into but he can't manage his money, is always crying broke, and has no plan to really make any decent living. He seems content "living for today."

what would you do?

[sugarbabe2]

Been there done that with the man with the money. I will NEVER compromise my happiness again for temporary fufillment through material things. Life is too short to be miserable and money does not buy happiness ever day. Yes it definetly makes life easier at times but at the end of the day you have to answer to yourself. Why compromise your dignity for something that does not truley make you happy.

[lola]

I completely agree with you Sugarbabe, I am just putting the convo out there. I have had friends say to me (about the guy with $$) "why don't you just go with him?! he's crazy about you and wants to spend all his money on you!" but my heart wasn't in it...

[tomciz]

he probably was shitty in bed

[Thylacine]

I'm real buddhist about my shit sometimes... You have to take the middle ground. You need some sort of chemistry between the one you love and yourself. At the same time you need financial stability too. I don't completely agree with the statement 'money can't buy happiness'.... because it can. Part of being happy in life is being financially secure. Constantly worrying about how you're going to pay the bills breeds sadness/discontent. Being broke is being miserable in a capitalist world.

Cheer up though. The middle ground might not mean having to pick the guy that you're not so into but is financially stable. It can also mean getting the person who can't grasp the import of money to understand just how much you need money.

On the flipside let me stand up for the nice guys out there that don't seem to evoke the passionate response they need to get a girl infatuated in them. These guys are sensible, safe, level headed guys.... Ok so they don't ride motorcycles and they aren't badboys... How long do you really think that shit is gonna last? Sooner or later you're going to get sick of their rock star bullshit and what will you have then? Some guy that can't support your family with no vision of the future. So go with the "nice guy" sometimes. He's not all that bad.

Or if you're lucky enough... find the action-hero-rock-star-sensible-yet-moral-fast&furious-car-drivin-badboy-niceguy-tearitupinthebed-motherandfatheradores-him-guy.... or girl... but replace the guy parts with girl... you know what I mean....

[Skylab]

well said Thylacine!

[sugarbabe2]

I'll take your last description thylacine. Please order me one of those :)

[Thylacine]

Ok sure. One strapping rock star altar boy super hero coming up.

[Fast Eddie]

i absolutely dont believe that money makes you happy, and i absolutely think that if u search for happiness in the right places of your life ull be just fine money wise. its when u live above your needs to make yourself happier, and which in turns causes monetary troubles, in which u get more down and out then u started. better off finding happiness in the correct places

[Skylab]

well.... it doesn't "create" happiness it a sense.. however if you have major debt then money could be creating you stress.. so without debt, wouldn't you be happier? if you can't buy food on your table, wouldnt you be stressed out? wouldn't it make you happier if you had food?

[Fast Eddie]

well.... it doesn't "create" happiness it a sense.. however if you have major debt then money could be creating you stress.. so without debt, wouldn't you be happier? if you can't buy food on your table, wouldnt you be stressed out? wouldn't it make you happier if you had food?

i think this goes alot deeper then bills and debt. those are man made problems. most of the time id say its problems caused by ones own actions. now i had enough money to have more than enough good times and do what i want and have what i want with no debt or bills. it does not buy happiness. and now in my life with some debt, and some bills, and with myself trying to find happiness within me and around me instead of thru material items or fake experiences. i have learned to be happy naturally and everything else seems to fall into place. didn't u recently tell me that u were in some of the poorest places and they dont stop smiling....

[lola]

I'm real buddhist about my shit sometimes... You have to take the middle ground...

very well said! i tend to take this perspective on most things...

[Skylab]

myself trying to find happiness within me and around me instead of thru material items or fake experiences.

+10 dude.. why arn't you traveling? thats what travel is all about man! hell i have 2 pairs of pants, 3 shirts, a laptop, a few socks and boxers.. thats it.. and i couldn't be happier. no car, bills, or bullshit. :good:

[Thylacine]

The dynamics change when you try and start a family. That's where I'm coming from. That's why happiness means something else to me.