ArGroxwel
08-18-2009, 02:31 PM
Hollywood's clear lack of original ideas is a pestilence much bemoaned by movie buffs. We see sequel after remake after TV show-turned-movie after prequel after comic book adaptation after "reboot" after ... Hasbro toys and game boards (http://www.cinematical.com/2009/08/09/dear-hasbro-enough-already/)?!
But unless you regularly scour the New Releases section of your local video store Blockbuster, you may not actually realize how severe The Sequel Pandemic -- as we'll call it -- has gotten.
For every sequel released theatrically, there are thrice that number released straight to DVD. Oftentimes they happen to really decent movies, movies that did nothing to deserve the embarrassing stigma of a horrendous, star-less straight-to-DVD sequel.
Warning: There were no special effects (or Photoshopping) involved in the making of this article. What you are about to see are ACTUAL DVD titles released into the world.
Come on. "DJ Qualls being available" is not reason enough to go here...
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/road-trip-2.jpg
Yep, this means there was also, in fact, a 'Cruel Intentions 2.' (http://www.moviefone.com/movie/cruel-intentions-2/1165024/main)
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/cruel-intentions-3.jpg
Wouldn't you rather not know what Randy Quaid is up to now?
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/christmas-vacation-2.jpg
Half the size. Twice as annoying.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/ace-ventura-jr.jpg
Replacing Paul Walker and Jessica Alba are ... Chris Carmack ('The Butterfly Effect 3,' (http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-butterfly-effect-3-revelations/36213/main) 'Bring It On Again' (http://www.moviefone.com/movie/bring-it-on-again/1247922/main)) and Laura Vandervoot!
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/into-the-blue-2.jpg
As if one bad sequel, a Broadway show and a reality TV show about the casting of that Broadway show weren't enough, there's this.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/legally-blondes-2.jpg (http://www.moviefone.com/movie/legally-blondes/37561/main)
OK, this one we kind of want to see.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/road-house-2.jpg (http://www.moviefone.com/movie/road-house-2/1300198/main)
This is 'Dr. Dolittle 5,' for those keeping score at home. Yes, Part 5.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/dr-dolittle-5.jpg
Based on a true story. Again!
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/open-water-2.jpg
French Stewart: He looks just like Matthew Broderick, if you're high enough to rent this.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/inspector-gadget-2.jpg
But it was supposed to be the last dance!
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/save-the-last-dance-2.jpg
Blasphemy.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/lady-and-the-tramp-2.jpg
From the director (http://www.moviefone.com/celebrity/catherine-cyran/1848662/main) of 'The Prince and Me 2,' (http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-prince-and-me-2-the-royal-wedding/1290743/main) and the upcoming 'Prince and Me 4.' And also, 'In the Heat of Passion 2: Unfaithful.' (http://www.moviefone.com/movie/in-the-heat-of-passion-2-unfaithful/1111858/main)
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/prince-and-me-3.jpg
This time ... One of the robbers is a woman!
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/home-alone-4.jpg
If we make the DVD covers (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_d?url=search-alias%3Ddvd&field-keywords=white+noise&) similar enough, maybe you'll pick this one off the shelf by accident!
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/white-noise-2.jpg
UPDATE: We attempted to cap ourselves at 15, but this just-discovered, absurdly-real DVD sequel (starring Mila Kunis and William Shatner?!) is too hard to pass up.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/american-pyscho-2.jpg
But unless you regularly scour the New Releases section of your local video store Blockbuster, you may not actually realize how severe The Sequel Pandemic -- as we'll call it -- has gotten.
For every sequel released theatrically, there are thrice that number released straight to DVD. Oftentimes they happen to really decent movies, movies that did nothing to deserve the embarrassing stigma of a horrendous, star-less straight-to-DVD sequel.
Warning: There were no special effects (or Photoshopping) involved in the making of this article. What you are about to see are ACTUAL DVD titles released into the world.
Come on. "DJ Qualls being available" is not reason enough to go here...
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/road-trip-2.jpg
Yep, this means there was also, in fact, a 'Cruel Intentions 2.' (http://www.moviefone.com/movie/cruel-intentions-2/1165024/main)
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/cruel-intentions-3.jpg
Wouldn't you rather not know what Randy Quaid is up to now?
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/christmas-vacation-2.jpg
Half the size. Twice as annoying.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/ace-ventura-jr.jpg
Replacing Paul Walker and Jessica Alba are ... Chris Carmack ('The Butterfly Effect 3,' (http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-butterfly-effect-3-revelations/36213/main) 'Bring It On Again' (http://www.moviefone.com/movie/bring-it-on-again/1247922/main)) and Laura Vandervoot!
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/into-the-blue-2.jpg
As if one bad sequel, a Broadway show and a reality TV show about the casting of that Broadway show weren't enough, there's this.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/legally-blondes-2.jpg (http://www.moviefone.com/movie/legally-blondes/37561/main)
OK, this one we kind of want to see.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/road-house-2.jpg (http://www.moviefone.com/movie/road-house-2/1300198/main)
This is 'Dr. Dolittle 5,' for those keeping score at home. Yes, Part 5.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/dr-dolittle-5.jpg
Based on a true story. Again!
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/open-water-2.jpg
French Stewart: He looks just like Matthew Broderick, if you're high enough to rent this.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/inspector-gadget-2.jpg
But it was supposed to be the last dance!
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/save-the-last-dance-2.jpg
Blasphemy.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/lady-and-the-tramp-2.jpg
From the director (http://www.moviefone.com/celebrity/catherine-cyran/1848662/main) of 'The Prince and Me 2,' (http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-prince-and-me-2-the-royal-wedding/1290743/main) and the upcoming 'Prince and Me 4.' And also, 'In the Heat of Passion 2: Unfaithful.' (http://www.moviefone.com/movie/in-the-heat-of-passion-2-unfaithful/1111858/main)
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/prince-and-me-3.jpg
This time ... One of the robbers is a woman!
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/home-alone-4.jpg
If we make the DVD covers (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_d?url=search-alias%3Ddvd&field-keywords=white+noise&) similar enough, maybe you'll pick this one off the shelf by accident!
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/white-noise-2.jpg
UPDATE: We attempted to cap ourselves at 15, but this just-discovered, absurdly-real DVD sequel (starring Mila Kunis and William Shatner?!) is too hard to pass up.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/media/2009/08/american-pyscho-2.jpg